Monday, March 26, 2007

The Following Takes Place between 9AM and 10AM...

As the polls open for a day of exciting voting, a lone young man walks to the polling place. He sits down at the computer and begins to cast his ballot. Suddenly, there's an explosion. The polling booths go up in a blaze a fire. The young man lies on the ground bleeding. As the life slowly leaves him, he grasps the button on his chest as if to prove to the world that he didn't die for nothing. The button reads "Vote SQUELCH!"

The office of the president of the ASUC: The President and Vice President discuss their strategy for the day with the head of Student Action. The news of the bombing at the polling place makes its way to the office. The three people in the room are shocked. But when the President leaves the room, the head of Student Action lets the VP know that the day is going perfectly so far. The VP is worried about SQUELCH! but the party head lets him know that they are about to be taken care of.

SQUELCH! leader Ben Narodick looks panicked as he runs through SQUELCH! headquarters. SQUELCH! was not even a step closer to locating the name-brand candidate machine that could allow Student Action to win the election. And he had just recieved a report that one of his own agents was killed in an explosion at one of the polling places. He was waiting for a report from David Wasserman, the one SQUELCH! member who had managed to infaltrate the infamous Student Action breeding grounds: The Senate.

Andy Morris stares at the figures places before him. SQUELCH! agents Joe Rothberg and Gabe Weiner have put together a report on what will happen should the Student Action machine not be stopped. The result: 19 senate members and an entire executive slate. Morris knew that he had to do something to stop them.

Ben Narodick jumped up as his phone rang. He answered the phone to hear the voice of David Wasserman on the other line. Unfortunately, Wasserman was just as much in the dark as the other members of SQUELCH! Narodick cursed as he realized he needed another lead when he quickly noticed a distinct smell in the air. It was subtle at first but he quickly recognized the scent of hairspray. Narodick hit the alarms and sent SQUELCH! headquarters into lockdown but it was too late.

Within seconds, hundreds of Student Action lackeys had entered the SQUELCH! headquarters. None of the actual Student Action candidates were there because the situation was dangerous and required confrontation so they sent their assistants while anonymously posting on blogs that the assault was in the name of the students. Soon, SQUELCH! headquarters was infested with graffeti bearing the names of candidates and numbers that nobody could really tell apart. And the sound of "Can I please tell you about my candidate?" filled the halls.

Morris quickly began shooting to protect his fellow SQUELCH members from the hypnotic and convincing propaganda/laminated flyers brought by the Student Action groupies. The attackers fired back with homemade bombs made out of the hairspray and chalk they had brought (which turn out to be incredibly explosive and long lasting when used together). As a member of Student Action threw one of its bombs at Agent Rothberg, Morris was able to kick the bomb back at the offender and blow up 15 of them at the same time. With his sharp skills and quick maneuvers, Morris was able to kill all of the Student Action members with little damage to SQUELCH! agents.

Morris thought the threat was over, but when he looked up to Ben Narodick's office, he saw a Student Action senator standing there with him. Morris ran up to the office and grabbed the senator from behind, placing him in cuffs. Morris smiled at Narodick but noticed blood rushing from Ben's neck. As SQUELCH! agents took the Student Action senator into custody, Morris ran over to Narodick to try to save his life. But Narodick just looked up into Morris' eyes and said "You must stop them." His breathing stopped and he slowly faded from consiousness.

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