The Following Takes Place between 10AM and 11AM...

The President of the ASUC looks worried as he puts down his phone after learning that one of the Student Action senators had been captured by SQUELCH! The Vice President tells the president that immediate action is needed to stop SQUELCH! and rescue the senator. However, the President disagrees and tells the Vice President that Student Action shouldn't have been there in the first place. The Vice President walks out of the room and makes a phone call: "Judicial Council, I think we may have a problem."

Back at SQUELCH! Headquarters, a new leader emerges. SQUELCH! Agent John O'Conner has been put in charge. He immediately takes charge and proclaims SQUELCH! needs to discover the location of the name-brand candidate machine within the next hour.

Meanwhile, Andy Morris has the student action senator tied to a chair. "Where is the machine?" Morris yells at the senator, but the suspect responds that he doesn't know anything. Quickly and without passion, Morris pulls out a gun and shoots the senator in the left hand. "That was just your left hand," calmly explains Morris, "but if you want to still pass out flyers and shake hands with everyone who walks past you with your right hand I expect you to tell me what you know!" The senator looks up and says, "It's with the vice president".

Back at the office of the ASUC, the President sits at his desk. Suddenly, the room bursts open and the Judicial Council surrounds and hand cuffs the president. "Mr. President, you are under arrest for the unlawful attack on SQUELCH! headquarters". The President argues, "But I didn't know about it, it wasn't me!" The head of the judicial council, who believed what the president was saying but was forced by the ever growing political power of the vice president, just said, "I'm sorry Mr. President."

The Following Takes Place between 9AM and 10AM...

As the polls open for a day of exciting voting, a lone young man walks to the polling place. He sits down at the computer and begins to cast his ballot. Suddenly, there's an explosion. The polling booths go up in a blaze a fire. The young man lies on the ground bleeding. As the life slowly leaves him, he grasps the button on his chest as if to prove to the world that he didn't die for nothing. The button reads "Vote SQUELCH!"

The office of the president of the ASUC: The President and Vice President discuss their strategy for the day with the head of Student Action. The news of the bombing at the polling place makes its way to the office. The three people in the room are shocked. But when the President leaves the room, the head of Student Action lets the VP know that the day is going perfectly so far. The VP is worried about SQUELCH! but the party head lets him know that they are about to be taken care of.

SQUELCH! leader Ben Narodick looks panicked as he runs through SQUELCH! headquarters. SQUELCH! was not even a step closer to locating the name-brand candidate machine that could allow Student Action to win the election. And he had just recieved a report that one of his own agents was killed in an explosion at one of the polling places. He was waiting for a report from David Wasserman, the one SQUELCH! member who had managed to infaltrate the infamous Student Action breeding grounds: The Senate.

Andy Morris stares at the figures places before him. SQUELCH! agents Joe Rothberg and Gabe Weiner have put together a report on what will happen should the Student Action machine not be stopped. The result: 19 senate members and an entire executive slate. Morris knew that he had to do something to stop them.

Ben Narodick jumped up as his phone rang. He answered the phone to hear the voice of David Wasserman on the other line. Unfortunately, Wasserman was just as much in the dark as the other members of SQUELCH! Narodick cursed as he realized he needed another lead when he quickly noticed a distinct smell in the air. It was subtle at first but he quickly recognized the scent of hairspray. Narodick hit the alarms and sent SQUELCH! headquarters into lockdown but it was too late.

Within seconds, hundreds of Student Action lackeys had entered the SQUELCH! headquarters. None of the actual Student Action candidates were there because the situation was dangerous and required confrontation so they sent their assistants while anonymously posting on blogs that the assault was in the name of the students. Soon, SQUELCH! headquarters was infested with graffeti bearing the names of candidates and numbers that nobody could really tell apart. And the sound of "Can I please tell you about my candidate?" filled the halls.

Morris quickly began shooting to protect his fellow SQUELCH members from the hypnotic and convincing propaganda/laminated flyers brought by the Student Action groupies. The attackers fired back with homemade bombs made out of the hairspray and chalk they had brought (which turn out to be incredibly explosive and long lasting when used together). As a member of Student Action threw one of its bombs at Agent Rothberg, Morris was able to kick the bomb back at the offender and blow up 15 of them at the same time. With his sharp skills and quick maneuvers, Morris was able to kill all of the Student Action members with little damage to SQUELCH! agents.

Morris thought the threat was over, but when he looked up to Ben Narodick's office, he saw a Student Action senator standing there with him. Morris ran up to the office and grabbed the senator from behind, placing him in cuffs. Morris smiled at Narodick but noticed blood rushing from Ben's neck. As SQUELCH! agents took the Student Action senator into custody, Morris ran over to Narodick to try to save his life. But Narodick just looked up into Morris' eyes and said "You must stop them." His breathing stopped and he slowly faded from consiousness.

Commercial Break

Hey everyone, the next episode should be up by the end of today. Until then, look at what some of the blogs around Berkeley have to say about me:

The Daily Clog
Beetle Beat

The Following Takes Place between 8AM and 9AM...

Seeing that SQUELCH! has discovered its plot and is planning to stop it, Student Action decides it has to do everything at its disposal to prevent a fair election. They decide they had to strike first (but only after spending $20,000 on legal consulting). They head over to the SQUELCH! headquarters armed with what looks like only chalk. But as the hour ends, it is revealed that they brought the one thing that can make chalk deadly... hairspray.

The Following Takes Place between 7AM and 8AM...

It is revealed that Student Action has a machine that produces name-brand candidates thus accounting for their never ending supply. SQUELCH! discovers that this machine exists and vows to destroy it to save the ASUC once and for all. Meanwhile, CALserve fights to change Oski to a more "gender-neutral" mascot.

The Following Takes Place between 6AM and 7AM...

Andy Morris is being tortured by the Student Action slate. As they waste your student funds on their needlessly expensive torture devices (which not only aren't as cool as just breaking someone's thumb they're also less painful and more "pc") they constantly remind Morris that his "Constitutional Rights no longer apply". Fortunately, Andy escapes, shoots his captors, and returns to SQUELCH! headquarters.

Introduction

The following posts take place on the day of the ASUC election.

IF YOU WANT TO INFLUENCE THE DAY, GO TO THE POLLS APRIL 11 (through april 13) AND VOTE SQUELCH!

Andy "Jack Bauer" Morris #99