Monday, April 9, 2007

The Following Takes Place between 6PM and 7PM...

Lauren Karasek made a call to John O'Connor. "Listen John," she explained, "I know you may not agree with the actions I have taken today but I have to best interest of SQUELCH! at heart. Although I may be spending money on military action, I still want to give as much funding as I can to student groups on campus and make the Berkeley campus a better place."

"It's good to hear that," replied O'Connor, "but we need you to release David Wasserman. He's one of our most useful personel and you've prevented him from performing his duty."

"I can't do that," said Karasek.

Andy Morris climbed the stairs to the Campanile. "What are you doing here?" demanded a member of Student Action guarding the stairs. Morris quickly pulled out his gun and shot the guard in the leg. With a powerful blow to the head, Morris knocked the guard out and handcuffed him to the building. He quickly climbed to the top and ran to David Wasserman's cell.

"Morris!" Wasserman cheerfully yelled, "Thank God you're here!" Morris placed a small explosive at the base of the Wasserman's cell. A loud explosion shook the tower and blew Wasserman to the ground.

"Thank you for rescuing me," he said as Morris walked to the back of the cell to help Wasserman up.

Morris turned to examine the holding cell and wondered why the ASUC would waste its money on a useless program such as this. Unexpectedly, he felt the cold tinge of metal against his arm and realized he was being handcuffed to the cell.

"I'm really sorry," said Wasserman, "but this is neccessary."

Morris looked shocked as he turned to look Wasserman in the face, "So you're the mole? Why?"

"Because Student Action has good ideas and you're ruining them! For example, Albert Wu calls for "More Career and Grad School guidance" (from ALBERT J. WU #93 for ASUC SENATE).

"Wait, how are a bunch of college students in the senate going to create that? There's no real substance to that goal!" screamed Morris.

Morris' cell phone rang. "Answer it!" demanded Wasserman, "Put it on Speaker."

"Hello?" asked Morris.

John O'Connor's voice came through clearly, "Abort the mission Morris! Karasek is not the mole, it's Wasserman!"

Before he could respond, Wasserman grabbed the cell phone and hurried out of the tower.

He dialed a phone call. "Hello?" answered the Student Action head.

"Morris is in the tower," said Wasserman, "commence the operation."

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